I was having this same problem and searched through the forums for the answer, but I didn't find it.
The solution I found was to login into the webclient. For T-Mobile this is
https://webclient.blackberry.net/Web...w.jsp?site=tmo
Once on that page I clicked on the profile button.
Then I clicked on the "Send Service Book" button under "BlackBerry Web Client Service Book"
A few seconds later I got an activation message, and I now had the email reconciliation options and command.
Now I'm busy trying to get the darn thing to actually reconcile. :(