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Old 12-16-2009, 09:01 AM   #21
jsconyers
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I will put my two cents in on the cheating comments. I used to share the same beliefs as Noodle22 posted above. Until I met a woman that was married to a controlling, mentally, and emotionally abusive husband. She was married to this man for 10 years and has put up with A LOT. She has 2 kids with her husband of 10 years and wanted to stay with him to make things work for the kids. She decided to put up with him being mentally and emotionally abusive and controlling for her kids. A sacrifice that she thought was worth it at the time. In turn, she looked for comfort/support somewhere else as she was not getting it at home.

I am not saying that her cheating was the right thing to do, but I do understand why she cheated. She is no longer with her husband, currently going through an ugly divorce process. I, too, have been cheated on and after hearing her story, I look back and do blame myself a little for the one that cheated on me.

Her situation kind of opened my eyes to a different outlook on why people cheat. I used to believe once a cheater, always a cheater. But now I believe it really depends on the person and/or the situation they may be in. As for this woman I described above, I don't think she would cheat again if she wasn't in a relationship like she is finally getting out of.

Just my two cents.
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Old 12-16-2009, 09:29 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsconyers View Post
I used to believe once a cheater, always a cheater. But now I believe it really depends on the person and/or the situation they may be in.
This is my experience also, FWIW.

I think there are a few people, mostly men, who are narcissistic and abusive, and will always see women as objects - tools to be used for pleasure and sustenance. They probably got that way by being abused themselves. Whatever the case, that handful of people will likely never change, or certainly not without hard-core therapy and some "come to Jesus" meetings that they are highly unlikely to seek out because to do so would be an admission that they are in some way "broken." Perhaps your friend's husband was one of those. Sounds like it to me.

Most people I know who have cheated in the past - myself included, I tell you honestly - cheated because they were flat-out unhappy at the time and for no other real reason. In my case, my ex-husband and I had a loveless marriage that I was too young and inexperienced to know how to improve, and I felt trapped. We were OK for the first few years. Then we had a child, and I needed him to grow up and help me parent, and he just wouldn't. I didn't have either the words or the patience at 25 to explain what I needed from him. Frankly, I didn't think I should have to. (My own father was excellent and his was absent - I'm now certain this was at least half of our communication problem at the time.) And when someone came along who seemed to understand what I needed and said he wanted to help me, I foolishly accepted. And moved out, and filed papers.

It would never even occur to me to cheat on my husband today. For one thing, I've got a good one this time. One who actually shows up in the marriage (girls, you know what I mean). But I also know now that running will not allow me to escape my problems, it will simply give me a whole new set of problems to address in addition to the ones I just kicked under the bed instead of actually taking the time to clean up.
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Old 12-16-2009, 09:39 AM   #23
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Very interesting that you don't know the guy but you hit the nail on the head. He was abused as a child. As for therapy, they both tried therapy. She still goes but he has quit going as he doesn't believe he has any issues. He plays the victim as he was cheated on. He always blamed things that went wrong on her. So, she still blames herself for everything, even when she's clearly not at fault. Just what she's used to doing for the last 10+ years.

I think your first marriage and hers sound pretty similar in regards to not being happy and the guy not stepping up to the role that he signed up for when he got married/became a father.

It's always nice to hear how things work out for the best. Glad it did for you!
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Old 12-16-2009, 10:19 AM   #24
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Sounds like my mom's ex. He cheated on her, and my mom told me once his dad sexually abused him. She wouldn't get rid of him though. Not until he finally got so drunk he hit me in the face with the phone, I'm glad he did because she finally got him out of her life. At 16 I was tired of waking up in the middle of the night to stop drunken fights, as I had been for the past 6 or 7 years they were together.

Maybe Tiger and Elin have a loveless marriage, maybe he cheats because he's trying to fulfill something he's missing. We don't know because we aren't them. I just meant in my personal situation, if someone cheated on me, I would not let them back into my life. I can't imagine where I'd be if I had let my ex back into my life, he wanted to get married and I can't picture being stuck in that life with kids with him, looking back now.
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Old 12-16-2009, 05:18 PM   #25
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Maybe Tiger will end endorsing xxxxxx.

I am still waiting for Rev. Sharpton or Jesse Jackson to get into this media circus. I can't understand why they haven't jumped into this mess by now.
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Old 12-16-2009, 05:36 PM   #26
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Maybe Tiger will end endorsing xxxxxx.

I am still waiting for Rev. Sharpton or Jesse Jackson to get into this media circus. I can't understand why they haven't jumped into this mess by now.
Didn't Rev Jackson already had his share of transgression? Maybe trying to keep the ugly head (no pun intended) from cropping up again.

Well, while waiting for them, why not check this out to keep you from the boredom:

Tiger Woods Infidelity: Tiger Woods Infidelity Humor, Video and Jokes | DBKP - Death By 1000 Papercuts - DBKP
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Old 12-24-2009, 06:03 PM   #27
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serial cheater
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Old 02-08-2010, 06:18 PM   #28
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dont hate the player hate the game... (not golf)
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Old 02-25-2010, 01:05 PM   #29
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Tiger Woods Announces Return
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Last edited by jsconyers; 02-25-2010 at 01:32 PM..
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Old 02-25-2010, 08:39 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by jsconyers View Post
Could you imagine reading this kind of parody about your dad? I mean the kids are financially set for life, but at some point when they're growing up they're going to see this stuff. Some things like steroids, embezzling, etc. aren't so big a deal down the line, but in this case their dad did some messed up stuff to their mom.
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Old 02-26-2010, 11:39 AM   #31
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Default The Pope and Tiger Woods

The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to Hell and Tiger Woods went to Heaven.

The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in Hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error. "However," the clerk explains, "it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified."

Next day the Pope is called and Hell's staff bids him farewell.

On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from Heaven and they stop to have a chat. "Sorry about the mix up," apologizes the Pope.

"No problem" replied Tiger Woods.

Pope: "I am really anxious to get to Heaven."

Tiger: "Why is that?"

Pope: "All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary."

Tiger: "You're a day late."
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Old 02-26-2010, 12:20 PM   #32
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<shakes head>
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Old 02-26-2010, 11:46 PM   #33
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Ahhhh hahahaha. I don't know if it's the wine, or if that was truly witty, but I did a for real snort laugh when I read that.

It might be the wine.

But I think it's hillarious still, haha.
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Old 04-22-2010, 10:22 AM   #34
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The Real Tiger Woodsxxx039; Scandal | Tosh.0 Blog
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Old 04-22-2010, 12:07 PM   #35
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Cute and from a New Member too.

I have been waiting to hear Tiger and Jesse James having sort of connection.
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Old 04-23-2010, 08:06 AM   #36
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The guy who paid for those planes to fly over the masters, one said "Hey Tiger, do you still want to do that foursome? Jesse" or something like that, haha.
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Old 04-24-2010, 09:55 PM   #37
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We are still talking about Tiger Woods????

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