You can do one of two things:
1) Have your secretary update the calendar in outlook and use the calendar to actually send the emails. What she's doing is probably changing the calendar, then attaching that event to an email. That's not how you're supposed to do it. The calendar itself can send change emails that are readable by the blackberry.
2) As the previous poster said, accept the new calendar in outlook on your computer, then synch the blackberry with your computer.
-Dan
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