Welcome to the forums.
The delete setting you want is done on the BlackBerry device. Click on Messages icon -> Options -> Email Reconciliation -> Delete On = Mailbox & Handheld.
This will reconcile the deletion both directions (BB to Outlook and Outlook to BB). The reconciliation takes about 15/20 mins (not instant), but can be forced if someone is on their Messages list, presses Menu and does Reconcile Now.
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