OR...do it the hard way:
1. setup a batch file that does whatever you want, pipes the output to a text file, and use a batch smtp mailer utility to email the text file to you.
2. (Outlook) setup a rule that looks for a specific string in the Subject and will execute the batch file.
I used this technique a couple of years ago when I was having to do some "realtime" (off hours) monitoring of a couple of sick servers. I had a whole arsenal of batch files, and would simply send myself a message from the BB with the special string in the subject. Obviously, I had to leave Outlook running at work...
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