[Sith_Apprentice]

4 months into a relationship already trust issues and wanting to propose? this would be why 51% of all marriages fail. The best course of action is just to ask to see her phone. She can set the autoBCC for you if she wants.

[Rolo1971]

Originally Posted by lraed74

Go gay and rid urself of the female darkside

NO NO! That won't solve the issue! Gay men/women are worse! Trust me I know

[Rolo1971]

You both wouldn't by chance still be in high school, would you?

[Thatzmister2u]

Originally Posted by natrix

She would give me the original authorization to do that because she wants me to trust her. If it had to be authorized each time it was sent then that would defeat the purpose because she would be able to filter what she didn't want me to see. I'm not trying to spy on her because that would imply she doesn't know about it. I just want her to know that she can't keep secrets from me.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

As previoulsy stated. Ask for access to her on-line carrier account or for a copy of the detailed bill. If she said they exchanged a couple of text that is all that should be there. If you see 50 text that day then she has not been forthright with you. I don't see any other option.

[natrix]

Originally Posted by Sith_Apprentice

4 months into a relationship already trust issues and wanting to propose? this would be why 51% of all marriages fail. The best course of action is just to ask to see her phone. She can set the autoBCC for you if she wants.

Again, I have full access to her phone other than when one of us is at work. If there is something I can set up on her phone to keep track of her messages that is what I'm looking for.

I really do love this girl and want to eventually marry her and have kids. That is why I am so determined to rule out the option of her doing things behind my back on her phone, which is the easiest way these days with peoples' phones being literally attached at the hip.

Trust is not something people are entitled to. It is something you earn or lose.

[ezrunner]

there are some very serious trust issues on the OP's part

I am no Dr Phil but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express!!

Rather than snooping on her OP you may wanna do a little introspection and find out where your issues stem from

If I was trying to do what you are I would have to end the relationship

[natrix]

Originally Posted by Rolo1971

You both wouldn't by chance still be in high school, would you?

No, but we did meet in high school and then lost contact until late last year. We're young, I'm 22 she's 23, but we don't act our age.

Believe me, if this were any other girl I would have kicked her to the curb long ago for not being completely up front and honest with me in the past. I'm giving her a chance to earn my trust now before I do anything stupid like propose when I still have doubts.

[Rolo1971]

Originally Posted by ezrunner

there are some very serious trust issues on the OP's part

I am no Dr Phil but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express!!

Rather than snooping on her OP you may wanna do a little introspection and find out where your issues stem from

If I was trying to do what you are I would have to end the relationship

I was trying to be funny earlier but I have to agree with ezrunner!
This almost sounds like a joke from my end.

[Rolo1971]

Originally Posted by natrix

No, but we did meet in high school and then lost contact until late last year. We're young, I'm 22 she's 23, but we don't act our age.

Believe me, if this were any other girl I would have kicked her to the curb long ago for not being completely up front and honest with me in the past. I'm giving her a chance to earn my trust now before I do anything stupid like propose when I still have doubts.

Ok, you have handled yourself mature on this thread and haven't back lashed at some of us like some young person would. I'll give you that much

I think you are trying too hard and text messaging an ex is nothing more and you should let it go. There are so many other problems in this world to worry about. You are young and you should enjoy each others' company and enjoy dating right now.

ok, end thread....

[juwaack68]

Originally Posted by natrix

The problem is what I've seen with most females is that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They can't just have a boyfriend or a husband and be happy with just that. They want to flirt or cheat when their man is not around.

I'm going to have to take exception with this comment. Not ALL females are like that.

I could easily paint all men with the same brush, too, but I know it's not true.

[CO_BBTechie]

Originally Posted by juwaack68

I'm going to have to take exception with this comment. Not ALL females are like that.

I could easily paint all men with the same brush, too, but I know it's not true.

Well... he did say "most," and not "all."

[ezrunner]

Originally Posted by juwaack68

I'm going to have to take exception with this comment. Not ALL females are like that.

I could easily paint all men with the same brush, too, but I know it's not true.

Thats why I said the issue lays within the OP

[ezrunner]

I do empathise with the OP I really do.

OP ya may wanna have a chat with the GF

[Thatzmister2u]

Originally Posted by natrix

The problem is what I've seen with most females is that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They can't just have a boyfriend or a husband and be happy with just that. They want to flirt or cheat when their man is not around.

This is the crux of the issue here. Your past experience is reflecting on your current ability to view this objectively.

[natrix]

Originally Posted by ezrunner

there are some very serious trust issues on the OP's part

I am no Dr Phil but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express!!

Rather than snooping on her OP you may wanna do a little introspection and find out where your issues stem from

If I was trying to do what you are I would have to end the relationship

Where my issues stem from? The mendacity of the human race. People just can't help but lie to you face to face. And it's usually the people that matter to you the most. Her acting shady is what led to this. If she really wants to earn my trust there will be 100% transparency in our relationship. I'm trying my best to make this work and to cope with my own problem.

If there is no other blackberry solution you can go ahead and let this die. I'm just venting at this point.

[ezrunner]

Originally Posted by natrix

No, but we did meet in high school and then lost contact until late last year. We're young, I'm 22 she's 23, but we don't act our age.

Believe me, if this were any other girl I would have kicked her to the curb long ago for not being completely up front and honest with me in the past. I'm giving her a chance to earn my trust now before I do anything stupid like propose when I still have doubts.

If doubts exist DO NOT propose!!!! Please DON'T


There at the minimum at the onset of a relationship exist some level of TRUST.

[CO_BBTechie]

Originally Posted by Thatzmister2u

Your past experience is reflecting on your current ability to view this objectively.

I believe you hit the nail on the head with that one. It would appear the OP is predisposed to mistrust the opposite sex. Put another way, it seems that the party of the female persuasion is guilty until proven innocent. This is not how a civilized society works.

[Thatzmister2u]

Originally Posted by natrix

Where my issues stem from? The mendacity of the human race. People just can't help but lie to you face to face. And it's usually the people that matter to you the most. Her acting shady is what led to this. If she really wants to earn my trust there will be 100% transparency in our relationship. I'm trying my best to make this work and to cope with my own problem.

If there is no other blackberry solution you can go ahead and let this die. I'm just venting at this point.

Understood. There is no blackberry solution for what you are trying to accomplish. I really do wish you the best of luck and sincerely hope that you guys work through this.

E-

[rDeuce]

[QUOTE=natrix;899974]I know she wants to be with me. She asks me to propose every day. We've only been together for about 4 months and that is way too soon for me to commit to something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. Especially when there are trust issues.
QUOTE]

Seriously, there is something wrong with this situation. I mean I'm all for knowing if somebody is the one and it could be after 4 months or 4 years but the fact that after ONLY 4 months you are already needing to come onto a webforum and find out ways you can secretly get info from her phone while she is at work is a precursor of what is to come. Its NOT going to last b/c you don't trust her. Not even a little bit. I'd like to say I hope it works out b/c I like for the best to always happen, but unfortunatley I am not going to sugarcoat what seems inevitable to me and others that have posted before me. Take it from a WOMAN'S perspective....if she wasn't hiding anything she wouldn't hesitate to show you her phone and if she was SMARTER she would have deleted a chunck of messages and not just those to keep in tune with her "story" of those SELECT messages being deleted when her phone dropped. Do yourself a favor and let this bus pass...another one will be along quite shortly.

Sorry dude.

[ezrunner]

natrix

what you are attempting to do would be tuff if even possible

by all means vent many of us do here.

most of us are just trying to give a bit of guidance

Ultimately it is all up to you

most of us are speaking from experience and years upon years of it.

we are not trying to disuade you maybe get you to look at it from an outside perspective