[aiharkness]

My experience nowadays is mostly with the podcast app and use of the media player in conjuction with that, with some experience playing media directly.

As far as starting to play from the spot where paused, the stock media player will do this if left open. Once closed, no deal.

I'm not sure about the issue with "now playing" disappearing from the menu. When I play podcasts from the podcasts app and either pause it or don't close the media player after the podcast has completed, the now "podcast playing" menu item remains. I can't say what happens if I play a file directly with the media player. But, just curious, in your case, is media player still open when the menu item has disappeared?

Don't know about aftermarket players.