With the big launch happening this Friday, June 29th, at 6:00 PM local time, I figured some of you might like to know about the latest Apple iPhone specs that have been revealed, as well as some other Apple iPhone news!
First up, courtesy of the nationally renowned newspaper
The Onion, comes the Apple iPhone specs that Apple held back to the last moment, so that they'd come as pleasant surprises!
Wow, talk about your high technology! ^_^
But wait, there's more! Is the Apple iPhone a bit too rich for your blood? Are you a poor, struggling student who can't afford $500 or more for the latest must-have phone? Have no fear!
Apple is prepping cheaper iPhones... probably! ^_^
Need something with similar features to the Apple iPhone, but for a little less money? Wait for the iPhone Nano! :-D
Need something even cheaper than that, say under $100? Well, just hang in there until you can get your hands on the iPhone Shuffle!
Here's some artist's concepts of what the 2 will (probably) look like!
So, have no fear! Before long, there will be an Apple iPhone for everyone!
And then you can all become brainwashed little zombies that blindly worship at the altar of Uncle Steve-o, just like all the Mac addicts that have been singing the Apple iPhone's praises for the last 6 months! Woot! 
P.S. For those that didn't already figure it out, this topic is a work of HUMOR and satire! No, the Apple iPhone specs above are NOT real! And although Apple will undoubtedly unleash newer, cheaper models in the near future, don't expect them to look like the photos above, mmmkay?!